Golf Decorum: F*&% That!

Maybe I’m a jaded sports fan, after all, I follow baseball in all of its American hot dog, popcorn, beer guzzling glory. Am I the only one in this world who thinks the Tiger Woods swearing incident has been blown way out of proportion?

Intriguing headlines alluding to Woods’ reprehensible antics were plastered on all internet search engines over the past few days. Eventually they wore me down and I opened a link to find Tiger’s horrific language quoted in an article describing his offensive tantrums at Masters.

Be forewarned, I’m about to quote his absolutely unforgivable words after he played below expectations. Ready for it?

“Tiger, you suck!” & “Jesus Christ”

Oh, my God! I can’t f*&^#$%’ believe he used such God d%^$ language to describe such a sh^&&$ performance.

Now I’m well aware that golf is a “proper” sport in that there are rules of decorum and sportsmanship which are expected to be followed. But for all that’s holy, you just need to watch any live sports game (baseball and hockey in particular) and while you can’t hear it, you can certainly see endless strings of very creative and unrepeatable expletives flying without hesitance from the mouths of some of our most popular athletes.

For Pete’s sake, Tiger didn’t direct his offensive language at anyone else. He was having a bad day and was pissed at himself. Let a man speak his mind. And if his words were too fiery for the golf broadcasts, perhaps they should think twice before sticking a mic on or near him. Let the guy play his game. He’s got far bigger problems off the green this year than overly conservative sportscasters balking at swear words even grandmas use occasionally.

Source: Yahoo! Sports

Picture from "The Campus Socialite"

Who's Afraid of the Big Bad...Earthquake?

“Aren’t you afraid?” It’s the one question we always get asked from non-Californians. The answer is emphatically, “No.”

The recent domino effect of earthquakes in Haiti, the Midwest, Chile, and right here in good ole gold country have sparked renewed interest in the inevitable Big One expected to hit the west coast sooner rather than later. (Actually, if you’re looking for some truly scary statistics, click here to see the earthquakes around the world from the past 30 days; I stopped counting after 200. Better yet, in the past week there have been 1185 earthquakes in the U.S. alone, most of them located from Alaska down the length of the west coast.)

Most non-Californians see this state as one of the few places left with golden opportunities. With its breathtaking coastline and redwood forests to celebrity-soaked beaches and national parks, California is truly a beautiful state that has everything from sun, palm trees and surfing to mountains, snow and skiing. The ugly reality lying miles below the fun stuff we enjoy is the San Andreas Fault line.

Running through nearly the entire state, the line itself is merely miles from my house. Tremors occur every day, though we rarely feel them. However, we’ve had two around the 4.0 range in the past two to three months.

The fact is that I felt more earthquakes in Reading, PA than I have here in earthquake prone California, which brings me to my point.

Let's face it. There’s no completely safe place to live. The northeast has debilitating blizzards. The southeast has hurricanes. And let’s not forget the twisters of the Midwest and south. Earthquakes happen all over the U.S. as do wildfires and rainstorms. Even Alaska and Hawaii have earthquakes and are prone to tsunamis.

So, are we afraid of the big one—a supposed 9.0+ magnitude quake expected to hit California within the next 30 years? I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t scared, but we can’t live in fear. Perhaps the question isn’t so much about why we choose to live in an area prone to natural disasters, but whether or not we’re prepared to deal with the consequences.

It doesn’t matter how much food and water we have stockpiled along with emergency supplies (though it certainly helps). My biggest concern is living every day to the fullest and squeezing the most out of every last second until my body forces my eyes shut each night. As the horrors of Haiti and Chile have shown, everything can be taken away in mere seconds when we least expect it.

What’s the lesson? Love with your whole heart today for who knows what tomorrow will bring.

Sources:
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/7832219/
http://earthquake.usgs.gov/earthquakes/recenteqsus/
http://www.usatoday.com/tech/science/2010-03-01-chile-quake-lessons_N.htm?se=yahoorefer
San Andreas Fault Map – David K. Lynch

Weighing In

The headline caught me. “Ice dancer Belbin has put on weight, and she couldn’t be happier.” (Thanks Yahoo! Sports.)

For those of you who follow the Olympics, Tanith Belbin and her ice dancing partner, Ben Agosto, won silver in Turin 2006. Without a doubt, Tanith was gorgeous. She literally looked like a Barbie doll.

So, obviously, curiosity got the best of me when I read the article’s headline. Expecting to see an Olympic-athlete-turned-obese-woman, I was slightly disappointed to learn that she gained ten pounds.

Ten pounds. And this makes news.

Ten pounds is nothing. I can pack that on in one indulgent weekend of chocolates, champagne, and take out.

Still, I had to read the story.

The article’s author, Maggie Hendricks, wrote:
“With Linichuk's [her new coach] help, Belbin changed her eating and training habits. She grew stronger, allowing curves and muscles to be a part of her body. Agosto said that their lifts have improved, as Belbin can hold herself up more easily. If you've ever held a sleeping child, you know that Agosto's job became much easier as Belbin's strength improved.”

As a result, the pair is in gold medal contention this week. Imagine that—an Olympic gold medal is in your grasp thanks to a few extra pounds.

So, if weight makes us stronger and healthier who cares if we gain ten or even twenty pounds as we age? No one can (or should) expect us to look the way we did in high school. Unfortunately, women with natural curves aren’t appreciated in the heavily covered media world of celebrities. For some reason, silicone and surgically enhanced beauty is what both men and women are taught to expect. It’s not fair.

While I’m not against plastic surgery, I wish the media would offer a more balanced view of reality. Model-like skinny makes up a very small percentage of the population. With the average size of women estimated at a 14 dress size, clearly, the size 0 actresses featured on nearly every TV show and movie do not reflect reality. But Hollywood wouldn’t have it otherwise. After all, movies are an escape and a size 4 ‘fatty’ doesn’t translate well on the silver screen. (For those of you who don’t know me, I’m being 100% sarcastic.)

While the Hollywood situation isn’t about to change, I hope that the Tanith Belbin story of overcoming the fear of weight gain will change the way some girls and women see themselves. Beauty, after all, lies within and isn’t measureable by inches around your waist.

Good luck, Tanith and Ben. Make the U.S. proud!

Resource:
Yahoo! Sports

TanithandBen.com

Helping the Helpless - Haiti

The Facts:
• As of January 23, 111,481 people were confirmed dead. An estimated 90,000 more are still buried beneath the thousands of collapsed buildings.
• Before the search-and-rescue effort ended on January 22, rescuers pulled 134 people alive from the rubble.
• On January 12th, a magnitude 7.0 earthquake struck the nation where 80% of its population lives in poverty. About 50 aftershocks over a magnitude of 4.5 have hit Haiti since the initial earthquake.
• According to the U.N. 609,000 are now homeless in the capital of Port-au-Prince.
• In a country where about 40% of its population is made up of children, there is widespread concern that children who appear orphaned may have just been separated from parents. In the panic and rush to aid survivors, organizations like Save the Children are calling a halt to adoptions and evacuations. Of greatest concern is that the disaster situation will make it easy for children to disappear into child trafficking circles—a heinous practice that becomes rampant after every disaster around the world.
• Over 580,000 people received water from Unicef while the Red Cross has delivered an additional 30,000 liters.
• The World Food Programme has distributed 1,167,000 rations, but millions more are needed in the weeks and months ahead as the country tries to work through the aftermath.

Most of us don’t have ties to Haiti, but that doesn’t mean we’re not bonded by the ties of humanity. They too are our brothers and sisters and in their time of need, please consider helping them any way possible. The organizations below are currently accepting donations along with countless of others. There is usually a minimum of a $10 donation; $10 can buy us three gallons of gas or a ticket to the movies. But it’s a small sacrifice when that $10 can be combined with other donations to get medicine, doctors, food, clothing, and shelter to the homeless and the helpless.

Save the Children

Red Cross

Doctors without Borders

Sources:
CNN
CNN World
Yahoo News / Associated Press
Wikipedia

Haitian Presidential Palace - Image: Huffington Post

Let Freedom Ring

I was 12 when my seventh grade teacher asked the class to work on an assignment in honor of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Ecstatic about the creative project, I wrote a poem inspired by the famous “I Have a Dream” speech. While I understood its basic premise, I was a tad young to really grasp its profound impact and meaning.

After I handed in the assignment, my teacher pulled me aside and asked me what I knew about the speech. She then took the time to explain its socio-political implications at a level that a 12 year old could appreciate and even at such a young age I appreciated King’s speech because freedom was every American’s right, not the privilege of a few. I asked her if I could redo my assignment, which ended up winning a prize at our county competition celebrating the renowned leader.

While America has come a long way since 1963, the fight for equal rights rages on for many Americans who don’t fit the mould today. The power of King’s rhetoric is as viable in 2010 as it was back then. As he said: “…when we allow freedom ring, when we let it ring from every village and every hamlet, from every state and every city, we will be able to speed up that day when all of God's children, black men and white men, Jews and Gentiles, Protestants and Catholics, will be able to join hands and sing in the words of the old Negro spiritual: Free at last! Free at last! Thank God Almighty, we are free at last!”

Here’s praying and hoping that that day will come sooner rather than later.

Excerpt from Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.’s “I Have a Dream” speech on August 28, 1963 in Washington D.C.:
“Let us not wallow in the valley of despair, I say to you today, my friends.
And so even though we face the difficulties of today and tomorrow, I still have a dream. It is a dream deeply rooted in the American dream.
I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal."
I have a dream that one day on the red hills of Georgia, the sons of former slaves and the sons of former slave owners will be able to sit down together at the table of brotherhood.
I have a dream that one day even the state of Mississippi, a state sweltering with the heat of injustice, sweltering with the heat of oppression, will be transformed into an oasis of freedom and justice.
I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.
I have a dream today!
I have a dream that one day, down in Alabama, with its vicious racists, with its governor having his lips dripping with the words of "interposition" and "nullification" -- one day right there in Alabama little black boys and black girls will be able to join hands with little white boys and white girls as sisters and brothers.
I have a dream today!
I have a dream that one day every valley shall be exalted, and every hill and mountain shall be made low, the rough places will be made plain, and the crooked places will be made straight; "and the glory of the Lord shall be revealed and all flesh shall see it together."2
This is our hope, and this is the faith that I go back to the South with.
With this faith, we will be able to hew out of the mountain of despair a stone of hope. With this faith, we will be able to transform the jangling discords of our nation into a beautiful symphony of brotherhood. With this faith, we will be able to work together, to pray together, to struggle together, to go to jail together, to stand up for freedom together, knowing that we will be free one day.
And this will be the day -- this will be the day when all of God's children will be able to sing with new meaning:
My country 'tis of thee, sweet land of liberty, of thee I sing.
Land where my fathers died, land of the Pilgrim's pride,
From every mountainside, let freedom ring!
And if America is to be a great nation, this must become true.
And so let freedom ring from the prodigious hilltops of New Hampshire.
Let freedom ring from the mighty mountains of New York.
Let freedom ring from the heightening Alleghenies of Pennsylvania.
Let freedom ring from the snow-capped Rockies of Colorado.
Let freedom ring from the curvaceous slopes of California.
But not only that:
Let freedom ring from Stone Mountain of Georgia.
Let freedom ring from Lookout Mountain of Tennessee.
Let freedom ring from every hill and molehill of Mississippi.
From every mountainside, let freedom ring.
And when this happens, when we allow freedom ring, when we let it ring from every village and every hamlet, from every state and every city, we will be able to speed up that day when all of God's children, black men and white men, Jews and Gentiles, Protestants and Catholics, will be able to join hands and sing in the words of the old Negro spiritual: Free at last! Free at last! Thank God Almighty, we are free at last!”

Sources: Picture from the Associated Press
www.americanrhetoric.com/speeches/mlkihaveadream.htm
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PbUtL_0vAJk&feature=player_embedded#

New Year, New Resolutions

It’s that time of year again. Another year has come to a close and another is off to a fresh start. Of course this new beginning inherently implies another round of resolutions—some which will be kept and some which will fall to the wayside. According to a 2008 study, only 8% of people who make resolutions actually achieve them each year.*

As with all good intentions, the thought is nice but if they lack follow-through, they’re rather worthless. All of my New Year’s resolutions are fabulous—until reality hits. Ideas are great, action is better. (Ask me for an update in six months. I just might resolve to never commit to another New Year’s resolution!)

We each have our challenges and things we’d like to change. I’m hoping that by writing mine down this year, I’ll feel more obligated to keeping them.

My top five resolutions are:
5) Eating healthy & exercise, exercise, exercise!
This should be the easiest resolution to keep since it was last year’s number one resolution and one of the only ones I’ve ever kept. Every day from Thanksgiving through New Years brought with it a hectic schedule. Smart food habits flew out of the window in favor of convenience and comfort. The hard part is re-adjusting to healthy living again. But I know I can do it and I will.

4) Keeping up with my blog
Last August when I launched the blog, I felt exhilarated. I kept up with it as best I could until November. The holiday season threw a wrench into all of my best laid plans and intentions. I vow to have at least one new blog post each month.

3) Perspective
Clarity often occurs out of necessity, not rational thinking. Goal #3 is to organize my needs and wants and make sure all of my choices are for the betterment of my #1 priorities—my family. So, here’s to a year of no more wardrobe shopping (sad sigh) or trips to Hawaii (double sad sigh), and paying off my bills.

2) Finding an agent and/or publisher
I love writing. While I don’t expect them to change the world, my novels are a creative outlet for me and provide me with a sense of accomplishment. I’ve always wanted to write. Unfortunately, I never considered the uphill battle that goes hand-in-hand with it. The publishing world is driven by luck and circumstance. There are so many variables in finding an agent and publisher that it’s impossible to plan for it other than to research agencies, submit your best work, and pray for a miracle. The whole process is daunting and disheartening, but I’m wholeheartedly setting my sights on the publishing world this year. And if I don’t find an agent or publisher by the end of December, at least I won’t be able to say that it was due to my lack of effort.

1) Spend more time with my kids
Easy to say, hard to do. Life gets in the way. Now matter how much I plan our time together, other obligations always present obstacles—work, cooking, cleaning, paying bills, running errands, volunteering at school, writing my books. The list is endless. Sometimes it’s not even another responsibility; it’s just sheer exhaustion. As much as I want to read to the kids or watch a movie with them at night, my body wants to pass out under a cozy blanket. Whether imposed upon us or self-imposed, daily demands often take priority over the most important people in our lives. Even if I break the other four resolutions, this one is a keeper for 2010.

We’re halfway into January and I’ve got my work cut out for me. How are your resolutions holding up?

Wishing everyone a happy, healthy, and prosperous 2010!

Source: * Stephen Shapiro's 24/7 Innovation
Baby New Year Image

Gone but Not Forgotten

November is a sad month for me. Three people who touched my life indescribably passed away in November. Time has not healed the pain left by their abrupt departures. However, their memories comfort me. So, in honor of them, today’s blog is a tribute to these three wonderful souls.

Alexis
I met Alexis at work when I was pregnant with my first son. We shared an instant connection. We were both English majors in college. She was extremely well read and intellectual, but never flaunted her knowledge or made anyone feel uncomfortable. We often discussed writing a series of books together—a passion we both shared and never had time for. Genuine and real, Alexis was easy to like.

Coming off of a disappointing divorce, she was in the process of rebuilding her life and doing her darndest to make ends meet and be happy. She took on an extra job at a local landscaping nursery; she loved the outdoors. We’d speak about flowers. Once she came across blue/purple alyssum seeds and gave me a packet because she knew I liked them.

After I moved to California, we lost touch until mid-2007 when a mutual friend of ours told me that Alexis had been battling a deadly disease. I reached out to her and she replied—optimistic as ever. After spending months in the hospital, her last update was filled with a positive outlook: she felt better and was hoping the doctors would release her soon so she could go home.

That day never came.

Alexis passed away in November 2007.

Easy friendship, honest, unpretentious, organic, healthy (she exercised every day and ate impeccably well), kind, caring, supportive, sweet, smart

Alexis was a good soul and a blessing to have known for such a short time. Alyssum fills my gardens today. Every time I pass by them, I’m reminded of our sweet but brief friendship.

Andrea
Junior year of college was filled with many changes for me—the biggest and most challenging of which was my first year as a resident assistant. Luckily, my honors students were as wonderful and fun as they were incredibly smart.

Andrea was the outgoing life of every party. She was friendly with everyone and fiercely loyal to her close friends. Boy crazy and fun loving, she was also immensely deep, kind, and brilliant—intellectually and personally.

Post college, we kept in touch via e-mail over the years. I remember her feeling sick frequently and eventually her health interfered with her work. After testing, she was diagnosed with leukemia. She never complained to me. Her updates were always filled with hope, trying new tests and treatments when others failed.

In the summer of 2007, I headed back to Pennsylvania to celebrate my sister’s bridal shower and wedding. Both visits were packed solidly with non-stop responsibilities and events. Both times Andrea asked to get together with me. Both times, I regretfully had to decline.

If only…If only I had known then, what I know now. I had no idea how seriously her condition had deteriorated. On November 29, 2007, Andrea lost her battle with the disease.

Passionate, fun, inspiring, hopeful, positive, motivating, vibrant, a true star among a midnight blue blanket of normalcy

Andrea remains in my memory as the optimistic, whirlwind force of nature she was when I first met her. Her hopeful outlook on life is one that continues to inspire me today.

Keresztpapa (My Godfather)
I miss him. Miss him terribly. This November 5th marked the 20th anniversary of his death and it still hurts as much as it did then.

My dad’s parents died when he was a teenager. My godparents (my dad’s brother and sister-in-law), who were much older than him, brought him to the United States from Hungary and helped him get started here. My godfather fulfilled the role of grandfather for me. There was never a doubt in my mind that he loved me. He was firm but kind and always up to something—he was playful and loved to tease me and my siblings. Then there were the presents—the rocking horse on springs which reminded me of Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride, the enormous stuffed bunny for my 3rd Easter, and, who can forget, the live, white rabbit he surprised me (and my parents) with on another Easter.

I watched him play cards and drink with my dad and his closest friends. He was always telling stories and laughing—though I’d seen him get into rather serious conversations and debates with my dad, who was more like an overly-opinionated son to him than little brother.

Twenty years ago, my cousin called to tell us that he passed away unexpectedly overnight due to complications from leukemia. The shock and the pain of this ripped my entire family to shreds. Somehow we managed to get through that week, but the emptiness brought on by his absence was—and still is—physically palpable.

Despite the two decades separating us from the day he crossed over, I can still hear his voice call me “Kis Szivem,” Hungarian for “My Little Heart.” Whether it’s a manifestation of our missing him or a call from the other side, he’s visited me and the rest of my family in our dreams. Ironically, he’s always at the center of a party and having a blast. The dreams are never sad and just his way of letting us know he’s still with us.

Some people touch our lives for a brief moment, yet their impact is undeniable and permanent. Others play bigger roles in our being and their mark on us is like a tattoo that can never fully be erased.

The main lesson I’ve learned from all the deaths of family and friends over the years is to make the most of every minute with those around you. We never know when their time, or ours, will be up.

Alexis, Andrea, and my godfather were taken too soon. I find great comfort in knowing that we’ll see each other again in the next life. For me right now, they live on through the happy memories we shared and the pictures that speak a thousand words in the empty silence they’ve left behind.